1、公交车上，一漂亮mm遭色狼骚扰，忍无可忍，回头大吼一声：“你挤个JB！”全车鸦雀无声，色狼也愣了，沉默两秒钟，怯怯地说：“一个……”

2、服务员：“欢迎光临。” 顾客：“我要一个圣代。” 服务员：“什么口味的？”　顾客：“麻酱的……”

3、“回床率”，好词儿

4、马老的口才极佳，看过他在CCTV《百家讲坛》上讲收藏故事的人大概领教过了，但是生活中他的语言更精彩，马老说，最直白的语言说好了是最有力量的。陕北信天游里有句歌词：“白花花的大腿，水灵灵的逼，这么好的地方留不住你。”这就叫力量。——马未都曾如是说。

5、我先脱了。您随意

6、贫僧是自东土大唐而来，专程去往西天拜佛求亲的

7、风卷云动雨倾城，叩窗犹如瓦缶鸣。玻璃问雨累不累，雨问玻璃疼不疼。——偶得下雨诗一首。

8、别用你舔过别人JB的嘴说爱我——豆瓣上有一人名字叫这个。

9、我一贱你就笑。

10、这个信息泛滥的时代，你还要以掌握更多信息为荣么？我早就已什么都知道为耻了！

11、跟广告创意一样，很多好玩儿的句子，想出来之后才知道早被人想过了。比如——性生活不能自理。

12、A:你是我的小天使吗？B:是。A:啊！我终于找到你了！满足我一个小愿望好吗？B:去你妈的，就你事儿多。

13、你我皆烦人，剩在人世间。

14、南方性开放，北方打麻将，喝酒吹牛逼，全国都一样。

15、弄一MSN机器人，光会说句“是么？”就足够，别人说什么都这句，绝对聊遍天下无敌手。

16、A: 我大姨妈刚走。 B：哦，最近车票不大好买吧？

17、我说：姑娘啊，我已越陷越深。姑娘说：嘘，你不可自拔。

18、让一部分人先富起来，再消灭所有富不起来的，最终实现共同富裕。

19、以前提出上床，会说你恋爱动机不纯；现在提出恋爱，会说你上床动机不纯。

20、一天到晚想死的鱼。

21、最近北京又闹两会了，大家出门都小心点儿。

22、问：你和你的朋友在一起时都干吗？ 答：嗯。

23、挣的是卖白菜的钱，操的是卖白粉的心。

24、这么个时代，这么个世界，不得个抑郁症什么的你都不好意思见朋友。

25、中国有风险，投胎须谨慎。

26、某女宿横幅：今日华夏女生，明日成功女性。我个人觉得，这要是某男宿横幅就更有点意思。

27、我可好玩了，不信你玩玩对不起，你拨打的用户已结婚。——网上流传有这么一句。

28、恋爱还是要年轻时谈才好些。年纪大了，上来互相先问你谈过几个我谈过几个，或者干脆问你睡过几个我睡过几个，还都特坦然，特豁达，特不当回事儿。

29、看中美网民网上活动对照表，我的理解是，人家是在网上生活，我们是在网上逃避生活。

30、漫漫人生路，总会错几步。

31、你有权保持不沉默，但我们很快会让你沉默的。——据说是中国的米兰达警告。

32、三分天注定，七分靠打扮。

33、门门功课都得A，不如人家一对C。——据说是某人MSN签名

34、生在中国又卒于中国，真是祸不单行啊。

35、是这样的张总：你在家里的电脑上按了CTRL+C,然后在公司的电脑上再按CTRL+V是肯定不行的。即使同一篇文章也不行。不不，多贵的电脑都不行。

36、公司的无耻程度总是超出员工的想象。

37、自从深发展银行推出那条知性的广告语“只想与你深发展”后，银行业内人士又自编出了更知性的姊妹篇：“光大是不行的”。

38、早晨在路上见一车，车后贴一标，标上一句话：驾校除名，自学成才。

39、与有趣人，做无耻事。

40、一日早朝，王安石出列：“臣有奏，OOXX（以下省略1万字）。”刚说完身后跪下一片叫到:“臣沙发”“臣板凳”“臣地板”“臣顶”“臣也顶”……最后几人面带笑容不语，神宗见状怒击龙椅:“不许纯表情回帖。”

41、像阴道般咧嘴笑起来。——某翻译小说中的一句

42、好难。不跟女斗。

43、任何一个消息在经过官方否认之前都不能相信。

44、一人眼力不好，某日，买了只活鸡，提着回家。狭路之上，迎面走来一人，手里托块儿豆腐。眼看越走越近，便对那人说：小心点儿啊，这肥油别蹭我身上。对面那人闻听，瞧他一眼，说：呵，就您这眼神儿还玩儿鹰呐？

45、没有拆不散的夫妻，只有不努力的小三。

46、将客户睡服。

47、琴棋书画不会，洗衣做饭嫌累。拒绝生儿育女，上床按次收费。——新时代女性宣言。

48、只要功夫深，一日夫妻百日恩。——据说是某相声里的词儿。

49、还有一个：“喂，印钞厂陈书记吗？我订的钞票版面的我的头像是中分的，对……对……像《赤壁》里的周瑜，不要像诸葛亮。”

50、文丑而颜良。——这句用来评价一部分女作家，倒也公道。

51、当时间和耐心都已变成奢侈品，我们只能靠星座了解彼此。

52、一个在北美的中国金融faculty, 04年毕业作AP，06年deceased, 09年他的paper是JF Dec的forthcoming

原文来自http://kongchu.blogspot.com/

 

After the Ching Dynasty ended in 1911, many parts of China were occupied by the warlords, who were supported by foreign powers. Countries like Britain, France, Germany, Japan and Russia each had spheres of influence. The warlords drafted people to their armies and fought against each other with arms given by the foreign powers.

In 1926, Chiang Kai-shek led the Northern Expedition. He led new graduates from the Wan-Pu Military Academy and tried to eliminate the warlords and unify China. He had limited success.

In 1931, Japan seized Manchuria, the northeast province of China. And in 1937, Japan invaded coastal China, including Shanghai. One of the unexpected good results by the Japanese invasion was the elimination of all the warlords.

My grandfather on my father’s side was a landlord. He’d passed the government civil service examination, both in literature and martial arts. At that time, there was fighting between the warlords; and there was no suitable work for him. His family lived on rent collected from farmers. He liked to spend his time in tea houses and public bathhouses.

My grandmother on my father’s side had little education, but had a progressive attitude and she loved to watch Hollywood movies.

My mother’s father was the minister of a Christian church in Hangchow, one of the most scenic spots in China because West Lake is there. Her mother raised seven children, three sons and four daughters. They were all well educated. The oldest son went to the Philippines for higher education, and came back to work as the exclusive agent for a U.S. oil company and tobacco company.

The second son also went to the Philippines to study. During the second Sino-Japanese War, he controlled the oil supply to the Nationalist government. The youngest son is a physician, still living in 2009. He is 92 years old.

All four daughters received good educations. My mother is the second daughter. She graduated from a teacher’s college at 18 years old. Her first job was the dean of a girl’s school in the northeast of China, Manchuria. The local warlord wanted to take her as his wife. Her students helped her board a train in the middle of the night to escape.

She met my father in Hangchow. Both of them had participated in a student movement called “New Life Movement.”

My father graduated from the Shanghai University, where he studied social science and finished at the top of his class. He loved sports and was the captain of the school’s soccer team. He also played tennis and one year he entered the Chinese National Tennis Tournament, and won the runner-up trophy. He lost to a famous Chinese tennis star from Hong Kong in the finals, but it was a very close match.

My father and mother married in 1925 at the same age, 26. I was born in April of 1926.

My mother ate too much nourished food when she was pregnant with me. I grew too big to get out, and at that time there was no C-section. The physician used a clamp to pull me out. I weighed 12-and-a-half pounds. When I was one-year-old, my mother entered me into a baby contest. I was disqualified because I was too fat.

When I was six, we moved to my father’s hometown. Because of me, my mother took a job as the principal of the elementary school where I was enrolled. My mother put me in the third grade and went out to our tenant farmer’s place to select four healthy and bright boys. She brought them home to keep me company and to help me in my homework.

I graduated from the elementary school at the age of 10. At the urging of my mother, my father took the job of principal of the only middle school in town where I was enrolled. She also hired a male servant to follow me from home to school and back.

When the Japanese started to attack Shanghai, their superior weapons killed hundreds of Chinese soldiers. And the airplanes, wave after wave of planes bombarded the area, killing people and animals and fish.

My family was having supper one night in 1937, and suddenly we heard the noise of many airplanes. When we went to our backyard toward our air raid shelter, we saw many Japanese bombers. One bomb was dropped on the river in the back of our house. I felt water splash all over us, and I was hit by the shell of a dead tortoise.

My family — my father, mother and younger brother — left on a fishboat that carried us to the British settlement in Shanghai along the Sowchow River. We saw many dead bodies in uniforms, floating on the river and alongside the riverbanks. They were the Chinese national soldiers slaughtered by the Japanese Army. Later on, the Japanese army entered the city of Nanking, and the tragedy is called the Rape of Nanking.

(The Nanking Massacre, commonly known as the Rape of Nanking, was a genocidal war crime committed by the Japanese military in Nanjing (Nanking), then the capital of the Republic of China, after it fell to the Imperial Japanese Army on December 13, 1937. The duration of the massacre is not clearly defined, although the violence lasted at least until early February 1938. Estimates of the death count vary, with most reliable sources holding that 200,000 to 300,000 Chinese civilians were massacred in this period. Japanese officials lied about civilian death figures at the time, and some Japanese ultranationalists are still active in attempting to deny that the killings ever occurred.

(During the occupation of Nanking, the Japanese army committed numerous atrocities, such as rape, looting, arson and the execution of prisoners of war and civilians. The executions began under the pretext of eliminating Chinese soldiers disguised as civilians, and a large number of innocent men were intentionally misidentified as enemy combatants and executed as the massacre gathered momentum. A large number of women and children were also killed, as rape and murder became more widespread.)

I went through middle school and high school in the British settlement in Shanghai. I was not interested in regular school work. I spent most of my time in sports and read story books. In 1942, I graduated from St. John’s Senior Middle School. Before my graduation, my father died of TB at the age of 43.

That year, the Japanese air force attacked Pearl Harbor, and joined Germany and Italy in the axis. The Japanese also occupied the foreign settlement in Shanghai. They treated the local residents very rudely. I was with some of my classmates, and we attempted to go to the interior free China. I went westward to reach free China. It was a difficult journey, walking and riding on horseback. We went by steamboat to Wuhan, and tried to cross the battle line. I was detained by shipman with the Japanese Navy, who mistook me for a courier between the guerillas in the occupied territory and free China.

The night I was detained, a boatload of girls made a lot of noise as they sailed by the Japanese soldiers. Whether intentional or not, they diverted the shipmen’s attention and four of us who were being held managed to slide down the side of the ship into the water and swam away.

While trying to get away, I hide in the weeds along the bank of a lake. I accidently dropped in a big mud pond. When the mud reached my chest, I stopped struggling and waited for my fellow travelers to come looking for me. Luckily, one came back and used a bamboo pole to pull me out.

We climbed and crossed many mountains to reach Batung, a city not occupied by the Japanese. There was only one ship sailing to Chung King, the capital of China during the war. There were many refugees who wanted to get on that boat, and we had no way to board. That evening in a hotel, a guy with a lieutenant colonel’s uniform who had crossed the battle line with us, came to visit us. He was the courier that the Japanese soliders were looking for, not me!

He managed to get us on the boat, and we sailed the next day. Because the current was so strong, two dozen people with ropes along the shore had to pull the boat forward. It took three days to reach Chung King. I worked there from the winter of 1942 until the summer of 1943 as a tax investigator.

In the fall of 1943, I decided to enter the Military Academy of China. Japanese soldiers had pushed forward into China, slaughtering thousands of Chinese. All the Chinese were very angry and joined the Army to fight against the Japanese. I chose the Armor Division, located in the Hunan province. I spent two years in the tank division of the military academy, undergoing rigorous training. Suddenly, the Japanese army increased their attack against the province. A massive amount of tanks and airplanes invaded to fight the National Army of China.

There was almost no defense. When they were close to the academy, our commandant decided to disband the school. Each cadet had a rifle and 50 rounds of bullets, and we went to the high mountains. They were very high and when we reached the top, the people at the foot of the mountain looked like ants.

The minority tribe called Miao lived on the mountains used smoke signals to tell each village that we were coming. When we reached each village, they were empty. The residents were gone and there was no food. Some of us got sick and no one could stay behind to look after them.

We had to travel through about 400 miles of mountains and rugged territory. We had to hunt for food by ourselves on the other side of the mountains, where there were rivers with very rapid currents in some stretches. We were lucky to find boats. The pilot would perch on a narrow bridge on the boat, and he would use two oars to navigate the boat down the river — one oar in the front and the other on the back. He would be holding the oars through the rapid current, and avoid crashing into the rocks. Along the shores on both sides were hundreds of monkeys, making loud noises. It was quite a scene.

We reached Chung King in five weeks, covered almost 400 miles. Some of my classmates did not make it because they got sick on the way. We wore straw sandals and no raincoats, and walked over 400 miles on rugged terrain.

The academy was regrouped in a suburb of Chung King, and we resumed classes. I had another two years of military training. When a U.S. plane dropped two atomic bombs on the Japanese mainland, the emperor of Japan surrendered.

On the night of our graduation at the academy, one third of our classmates disappeared. We found out they were sent by the Communist Party to receive free military training at the expense of the national government. Later on, one of them visited me in Peking. He told me he was the mayor of a big city already and tried to persuade me to leave the army to join him. I was sent to the 3rd tank regiment as a staff member for the battalion commander. We were stationed in the suburb of Peking.

Soon after the Japanese surrender, the civil war in China started. Gen. George Marshall tried to mediate the conflict. He established an office in Peking called The Three Circles, indicating the harmony between the Communists and the Nationalists, with the U.S. in the middle as the mediator.

The Communists represented the general public, mostly tenant farmers, and they were against the landlords. Gen. Marshall viewed the Nationalist government as very corrupt, and the U.S. held back any assistance to the Nationalist government. But the Russians directly helped the Communists with arms and military advisors.

The Communists were very smart. When the Nationalist army circled them, they said they wanted to negotiate to stop the Nationalist from attacking them. When the Communists were ready to attack, they went ahead and attacked. Marshall was blinded by them, and the Communists got stronger and stronger.

From 1946 to 1947, I was a staff member in the 4th battalion of the 3rd Armor Division in the suburb of Peking (now called Beijing). My duty was to plan the logistics of repairs and supplies for the vehicles.

The U.S. Marines had the responsibility to guard Peking, where all the embassies were located. One night, I went to Peking to see a movie. When the movie was over, it was already dusk. There were big commotions on the street. A black U.S. Army soldier was accused of raping a female college student, and the students had gathered to protest. They wanted the U.S. soliders to go home.

I was not interested in fighting an internal war against my own people, even though they were communists. So I asked to return to the university. My request was approved. When my battalion commander was sent to the USA to be in charge of purchasing essential weapons for the armor division, he managed to have me discharged and enabled me to go back to college.

In 1947, I left the army and went to Shanghai to resume my college education. I was a student at a very distinguished engineering university — the National Chao Tong University. It was recognized as the MIT of China. Only 400 persons out of 10,000 applicants passed the entrance examination. I managed to get in the year I took the exam. For two years, I studied marine engineering.

By then, the Communist army had defeated the Kuomington Army. The Communist army crossed the Yangtze River and reached the outskirts of Shanghai. I was reluctant to leave. But my army buddies came from the north, convinced me that I would not survive under the Communist regime. For one, my family was landlord class. Second, I was a one-time officer in the Nationalist army, which was the enemy of the Communists. And I would be on the black list. My military classmates managed to get me on a landing craft with them, and we escaped to Taiwan.

When I went to Taiwan with my army buddies, my mother gave me some valuables, mostly small gold bullions. But I was careless and the valuables were stolen. I was lucky enough to pass the entrance exam to go to the prestigious National Taiwan University. The Taiwan government gave financial assistance to all college students who had escaped from the mainland Communist regime, free tuition and room and board. This time, I choose economics as my major. My intention was to understand the social problems that had caused the collapse of the Nationalist government.

Taiwan was saved by the Korean War. The U.S. 7th Fleet separated the island from mainland China. But the economy in Taiwan at that time was in a miserable condition. With the sudden increase of population that had moved from Mainland China, the unemployment rate was very high. The only job available to me was to teach high school students math and science, and prepare them to compete to be among the very limited number that could get into the universities.

I graduated from the National Taiwan University in June of 1952. The woman who became my wife was the cousin of one of my students. We were mutually attracted at first sight. We met at her cousin’s house. We dated one year. We both had no money but, luckily, I got the job as the controller of the Grand Hotel in Taiwan after my graduation.

More and more Americans were coming to Taiwan as military advisors and economic aid supervisors. Ambassador Rankin requested the government provide a first-class hotel and recreation club for Americans and other foreign visitors. I got a job as the assistant manager/controller of the Grand, in charge of finance and accounting. The manager was send by the president’s office, and reported directly to Madame Chiang Kai-shek

The salary was relatively high, equivalent to $100 in U.S. money per month, so we decided to get married in August 1952. Our first son, Adam, was born in 1953.

I worked at the Grand Hotel as the assistant manager until 1957, the year our second son, Roy, was born. By that time, the U.S. began to give both military and economic aid to the Republic of China in Taiwan. I was involved in the U.S. aid mission, working with the International Cooperation Administration for a year. I participated in distributing the economic aid, commodities (machines, etc.), U.S. technicians (hired to give technical advice) and participants (we would send Taiwanese to the U.S. for a short-time internship).

In 1958, I was called back to the Grand Hotel to be the manager, and my salary was doubled.

The visitors included the King of Jordan, Shah of Iran, Vice-President Nixon, Nelson Rockefeller and other dignitaries.

My salary as the manager — equal to 200 U.S. dollars a month —was high enough for me to buy a condo. I bought CDs of different maturity dates at the rate of 100 percent per year. In seven years, I saved enough money to provide my family for three years, and I came to the USA in 1959 on a student visa. I had learned English in high school at St. John’s Senior Middle School in Shanghai, and knew there was the opportunity for a better life and more freedom in the USA. At that time, only students could apply to visit the USA.

I was admitted to UCLA, which had a beautiful campus. I learned that America is not as it was depicted in Hollywood movies; she also has her dark side, poverty and crime. I’d left my wife and two sons in Taiwan. The only way we could keep in touch was one airmail letter a month.

I received my Master’s degree in economics from UCLA in nine months. It was so easy, it made me want to study further to obtain a Ph.D. degree and become a professor.

Even though I was already 34 years old, opportunities in the USA seemed so abundant compared to Taiwan. I applied for a few Ph.D. programs. I was introduced to Tulane University by the director of industrial development at the U.S. aid mission in Taiwan; he was a former professor at Tulane.

Tulane not only offered me an assistantship and a scholarship, they also promised to apply for permanent residence for me right away. They carried out their promise. Louisiana Congressman Hale Boggs sent a bill to Congress on my behalf; he was later killed in a plane crash in Alaska.

My family joined me in 1962; the almost three years of separation was pure torture. President Johnson managed to have the U.S. Congress pass a bill that allowed the family of a foreign student to come to the U.S. to be united with husbands. So my wife and our two sons came to the USA. My wife also gave birth to a girl the following year, so my family became complete. We named her Michelle because she was born in New Orleans and the name has a French flavor.

We received our green cards in 1964, and I turned in my dissertation and received my Ph.D. in economics. I taught two years at California Western University in San Diego, but I liked the South. Job offers were plentiful at the time, but the most attractive one was from Georgia Tech: associate professor with tenure in two years if I became a U.S. citizen. At that time, foreigners could not obtain tenure at Georgia Tech. Later, when I was 40, they promoted me to full professor.

My mother died in Shanghai during the cultural revolution at the age of 74. At the time, I was giving lectures in Nigeria.

I had a tough life in China, war and poverty. But in the USA, I had it easy. Life is peaceful and interesting, and I get to travel all over the world. All my children had a good education. And being a professor in the university, I was spared from racial discrimination. When I was at Tulane, blacks and whites were segregated and I was treated like a white.

I became a full U.S. citizen in 1969. The year before I was promoted to full professor and Ga. Tech granted me tenure. With a U.S. passport, it was easier for me to travel to foreign countries. I taught at Brussels, Rio de Janeiro, Lagos, Equador and lectured in dozens of countries. I have experienced many adventures, some of them dangerous and some of them hilarious. God has been really good to me. I am blessed.

There’s much I’ve witnessed: the wars between the warlords, the Japanese invasion, the civil war between the Nationalists and the Communists. I left the Chinese mainland at the age of 23 to go to Taiwan. There, I witnessed the economic boom initiated by the U.S. aid and how that money improved the infrastructure.

That was followed by the establishment of a tax-exempt import and export zone to attract foreign investment, which facilitated technology transfer from the U.S. and Japan, and the U.S. opening its markets to Taiwan exports. And later on, there was the establishment of Science and Technology Park to invent Taiwan’s own superior products.

I came to the U.S.A. in 1959 at the age of 33. I’ve witnessed the fast growth of telecommunication — color television, the Internet, e-mail, cell phones and on and on.

I was able to go back to Mainland China in 1980 when they began to open up to the outside world. I’ve since gone back many times, giving lectures on economic development, international trade and finance, and business marketing strategy. And just as with Taiwan, the Foreign Direct Investment, foreign technology transfer and the availability of the huge U.S. market has caused rapid economic growth in the Peoples’ Republic of China.

I never had big ambitions, I just wanted to be left alone to lead my own life. I have that, and am satisfied the future is up to my children and grandchildren. I wish that they will walk straight on the road I have paved for them.

Someone asked me recently whether I was happy. And I said, you’re asking the wrong question. I’m 82 years old. Am I happy about that? No. The right question to ask is, am I content? And I am.

— Kong Chu (with Scott Freeman), March 2009

折腾了8个月，税终于退齐了。Georgia的，Minnesota的，联邦的，联邦补退的。美国各级政府终于不欠我钱了。

 

 

木锐一天给我发了三封信，如果这周再写不出程序估计他会ditch我了

这个倒霉程序haunting我一个假期，自从prelim后。按理说过了prelim的暑假是该很enjoy的，没想到成了nightmare的开始。

我猜木锐自己明白这个模拟和优化过程的intuition，但不知道怎么去实现。如果我搞明白了，他也可以搞明白，很多paper的empirical可以构建在这个平台上，那时他可以搞一些fancy的dynamic模型，终于让自己的paper脱离naive的OLS和plain的GMM。如果搞不出来，我就没什么价值了。突然感觉自己在这个层面上有点像MJ，被逼着开演唱会，如果因为身体状况开不了，那他就是没有用的怪物。

希望自己可以survive。

 

 

1 暑假对我来说来得太晚，直到昨天被告知prelim过了才感觉暑假的到来。不过我不太喜欢暑假，时间又长天又热，关键是没有压力没有productivity。雨燕随便一飞就可以几十公里，驴要是不抽一天也不动地儿。

2 “研究生们虽然没有什么钱，但也不需要什么钱，而且把办公室/实验室按自己的意愿布置起来后，很舒适，一下子就没有了紧迫感。而有个太太在家里，就知道入不敷出”。我现在也体会到了紧迫感。学校是个容易让人把自己从现实脱离的地方，而且在里面呆的越长就越不愿意离开。经常回国是个不错的主意，看看同学的发展，再想想每天自己做了什么。

3 暑假也是个告别的时候。或主动或被动的原因，金融系走了三个人。经济系的Pat Kehoe也走了。离开或是解脱，或是有了更好的前途，所以没什么特别为他们唏嘘感叹的。只希望自己赶紧读完博士，有个pleasant的理由也离开这个地方。

 

1. 盗版的stata 10不如盗版的stata 9好。每次跑个简单的程序，stata10 给出的结果都不一样，太让我心凉了，要是弄个regression结果怎么让我信任。装了10是因为据说可以做GMM，现在连个简单summary我都不敢信了。

2. 来UMN快一年了，竟然没人告诉Patrick Kehoe和Timothy Kehoe是兄弟俩。我早前就觉得这两个长的像，而且连middle initial都一样。今天查wiki才发现，前者是后者的弟弟。但前者更出名，连他的RA学生今年都去了wharton finance当老师。不过他们俩不怎么co-work，虽然是兄弟而且就隔着一个办公室。

(25) 最對不住的人：俺爹娘，老婆

(26) 最後悔的事：没早上学

(27) 最喜歡星期幾：一。星期一是一个星期结束的开始

(28) 最喜歡春夏秋冬哪一季節：atlanta的春天，国内和minnesota的四季都不喜欢

(29) 喜歡的花：没有

(30) 喜歡的運動：跑

(31) 比過哪些比賽有得獎：没有

(32) 喜歡的冰淇淋種類：vanilla，rockyroad，Napoleon

(33) 最怕什麼東西：教授

(34) 如果有來世：还是做人。

(35) 討厭做的事：上课

(36) 討厭別人做什麼：不明原因的盯着我

(37) 擅長的事：发呆

(38) 有想過要自殺嗎：恩

(39) 臥室的地毯是什麼顏色：米白？

(40) 以後想做什麼職業：投资

(41) 你們家有多少層/你們家住幾樓：5、2

(42) 你信有鬼嗎：信。

(43) 10年后你会在哪里：衣服里

(44) 無聊的時候你大多做些什麼：发呆

(45) 世界上最苦惱的事：phd没意思

(46) 全世界最好的事：phd毕业了

(47) 覺得同性戀如何呢：女同挺好的

(48) 如果有人誤會你係同性戀，受宠若惊

转自MITBBS minnesota版

唉，一声叹息。。。想想此人也是恢复高考后头几批大学生，跟我父亲也年纪相仿

世事无常，及时行乐。。。

 

以下是原文

亲爱的朋友、老乡、同学、同胞：

在过去的几个月中，您可能听说过卢万斌博士不幸多次中风、长期沦落于医护所这件事
。我们在与他的家人、医生、监护人经过反复权衡协商后，本着对病人高度负责的原则
，特向大家就卢博士目前境况进行以下介绍，以期各位能伸出援助之手，使其与国内家
人早日团聚。

卢万斌，江苏镇江扬中人，现年60岁。1982年获南京林学院学士学位，1985年获加拿大
多伦多大学硕士学位。1987年到明尼苏达大学圣保罗校园求学，1995年获博士学位。毕
业后曾辗转芝加哥、威斯康星城镇，于两年前搬回双城地区，一直从事信息技术工作。

2008 年7月下旬，单身居住在Woodbury出租公寓的卢博士中风数次，先轻后重。不知有多少天，由于丧失了语言、行动能力，孤身一人瘫痪在一把椅子上，挣扎在死亡线上。
天意使然，终有人因几日不见他而生疑报警，才被送往医院抢救。半年后的今天，他的
肢体能力、语言能力及其生活能力相当与一岁儿童，不能自理。这位身高6尺，昔日体
重170斤的汉子，现今只剩下１０８斤。由于中风急救、之后又一直滞留医护所全时照
看护理、以及为控制多种综合病症而需大量服药，致使卢博士现已分文全无，亦无任何
经济来源或财产, 只得完全依赖于政府的施舍。医生讲，他恢复自理的可能性非常渺茫
。因此按相关”施舍”法规，已数月不给予任何的治疗措施。

卢博士孤身一人流落他乡。国内老家却有91岁的老母，四个兄弟姊妹及其后辈。他只身
在外身患重病, 家人在事发两个月后才得知，万分焦急，多次表达了强烈愿望，要把他
接回老家疗养，帮他恢复。

鉴于半年来有医无亲、有餐无欲, 医效甚微，医生也认同与家人团聚对卢博士的恢复是
最有利的举措。在家人周围，他不但能得到最亲近的看护和及时而可口的他久违了的中
餐，还可以得到外加中医的治疗。同时，与家人、旧友的团聚对他的身心和体能恢复都
是一种有力的激励，将产生不可估量的正面影响。根据我们这些朋友几个月来的了解和
观察，使卢博士与家人团聚实属上策。

不难想象将卢博士送回国内老家需一定的费用。医生说，他只能乘商务舱旅行，还得配
备一名懂英语、会护理的随行人员。随行人员需要来回票。光这机票就得近$10,000.

另外，卢博士不是美国公民，其身体和经济状况也不允许来回旅行来满足绿卡居住的要
求。美中之间又缺乏有关对方公民回国定居而照付其残疾或医护福利的双边协议。因此
，一旦离开美国，他将失去目前享有的一切美国社会福利和医疗资助。这种零收入的状
况将一直延续到他年满62周岁（那是法定最低退休年龄，届时他才能通过美国驻上海领
事馆领取约为每月$600多的社会保障金）。也就是说，即使按他将来社保金的一半去估
算他每月的生活和医疗费(即$300)，卢博士回国后的这头两年（在得到美国社保金之前
），就需要约$7,800的生活保障金。

综上计算，帮卢博士实现回家的夙愿，并支持他度过头两年所需要的生活和医疗费大约
为$20,000.

各位朋友、老乡、同学、同胞，我们希望在您对卢博士的现状有所了解后力所能及，为
帮助他早日与家人团聚献上一臂之力。也希望以此事引起您对自己和家人身体健康的关
注。俗话说“出门靠朋友”。在卢博士不能自理的情况下，我们谨代表他向各位请求，
期望您能为实现他与家人团聚的夙愿伸出援助之手。

我们十分感谢社区团体对此事的关心。特别感谢华兴报、华人社会服务中心、和江浙同
乡会为此募捐提供的支持。请将您的爱心捐款寄往：China Tribune, 566 N Snelling
Ave, St. Paul, MN 55104. 支票抬头: Chinese Social Service Center, 并请在支票
上注明“为卢万斌回家捐款”。也可点击此处用贝宝（PayPal）或信用卡（按新开网页
左下方信用卡标记进行）捐款。我们将通过华兴报和此站及时向大家汇报捐款情况。若
有意探访卢博士者，或询问募捐详情者，请与我们中的任何一位联系。谨代表卢万斌博
士及其国内家人对大家的关切和爱心表示最衷心的感谢！

祝各位与家人身体健康！

联系人：
殷锡纬(651-647-9272) 关少英 (651-436-3893)
耿庆璜(651-263-8647) 孙中义 (952-476-2167)
王章明 (514-768-2764) 王小亮（651-644-1993）
Linda Papillon (PAPPYMN@aol.com, legal guardian)

 

1、美国东部时间12月23日下午2点50分，我和王舒终于在Atlanta Dekalb County的法院顺利结婚，为了那前后5分钟的手续花了5年的时间。我们也是Dekalb County在圣诞前的最后一对新人。

2、几乎在同一时间，饭岛爱身亡于日本，成为中国各大网络媒体娱乐版头条，这也算是对饭岛爱对中国社会影响力的一个认可。

对于我，一个时代的开始和另一个时代的结束衔接的如此紧密而又巧合。

 

3、这周一到的亚特兰大，1月12日离开。最近几天疯吃，有点像国内的感觉，吃的胃口都有点不舒服了。想想回去之后只有个小四川，在这边吃多少，胃多难受都值得。

4、第一学期成绩不错，老bitch最后还是给了A-，我还是很知足了，希望快点结束所有的课程。

5、结完婚后，所有的证件，照片和视频都落在了朋友的车里，照片先上不了了。不过也就5分钟的事，不如想象的那么激烈。

 

最后，欢迎亚城的朋友联系我吃饭^_^

 

 

按照别人的价值观选择自己的生活是痛苦的。

我大三时发表感慨：我的奋斗的唯一受益者就是我的下一代。当他们可以开着porsche去泡妞的时候，我的父母可能已经不在，我也早过了可以花天酒地恣意娱乐的年纪。唯一可以安慰自己就是自己曾经的奋斗。《见龙卸甲》里有句搞笑的台词，“我们都一把年纪了，都是靠着一些美好的回忆而活着”。其实从这个角度讲，这是句确实是个该哭的台词。但不知道诸葛亮是否像我一样即使是在奋斗过程中也没什么大的成就感与享受。

 

所以我的point是，如果不结婚，Finance PhD真是白读了。

 

1。吃饭不给钱

2。发一篇JF之类的/教授求着我合写paper

3。股票外汇天天赚

4。杰出人才拿绿卡

5。变成肌肉男

6。天天好心情

 

 

不想解释这个题目，有兴趣得可以去查查。

这周末被一个不着调的美国人带去参加这个活动，我也没听清这个是什么，只听后面有个trip，然后去wisconsin，我就傻呵呵的同意了。

可是参加完这个活动之后，我感觉活了这么大，第一次被这么狠的雷到。这也是那个美国人不着调之处。

我的人生又完整了一些。

 

通过这个活动，我认识了很多年龄在30到50岁之间的美国白人男性，在他们变成疯狂的基督徒之间，他们有的是酒鬼，有的吸毒，有的进过监狱，有的是双性恋，有的是手淫癖........

我跟他们一起生活，住在8人一间并且只有一个坑位厕所的废弃的美军基地宿舍。

夜不能眠。。。。

 

 

PhD的生活开始了，跟我想象中的一样紧张忙碌。我其实有点高兴，年龄毕竟大了，再混日子就不象话，没有多少青春可以荒废。虽然只上三门课，但比tech上七门时压力大一些。不过我喜欢压力，人都是逼出来的，也是都从逼里出来的。所以人的差距有的时候就是面临多少压力和自己对压力的承受能力。上课的内容目前看我比较喜欢，都是自己感兴趣，明白些而又不甚了解的东西。
Minneapolis这个城市也开始慢慢接受。越来越感觉喜欢就是一种习惯，小到城市，大到老婆。虽然9月初的气温就开始10摄氏度左右，也许我喜欢的太早，还没有见识到冬天。转载一篇我以前转载过的文章。我很喜欢。是我大四最后一学期看到的。没想到当时无意的转载竟如此符合我现在的境遇。我猜作者是个台湾的女人。

独语

不过是几年前一个冬天的黄昏稍晚，当日黄昏短暂，匆匆下过小城那一年的第一场大
雪。那是一座年年冰封五个月的小城，可是年年没有人确实做好心理准备，因此第一场
雪总是措手不及，如此仓皇进入冬天已成惯例。

那个黄昏我必须走上一座斜坡旁听一堂关于尼采的课，我记得非常清楚当晚的主题是愤
怒。我在松厚的新雪上赶路，薄暮中整排坡道的路灯突然亮起，直达斜坡之顶。四下无
人无声，新降的雪色如同完美的和弦那样至情至性掩人耳目，使人不辨方位，如果没有
这排金花也似的路灯，恐怕我当晚难以坚持意志走上那片斜坡。

我不记得那晚我们讲了尼采什么，我反而记得那个老师身着苔绿色的大毛衣，整个人绿
茸茸仿佛刚刚步出春天的温室。那绿色的感觉如此奇特，以致于日后只要想起尼采的愤
怒，我就直觉那样的愤怒一定是那样微妙的绿色。然而如果当天黄昏稍早我没有循着路
灯坚持走上斜坡，那么稍晚那段关于愤怒之绿的莫名记忆将彻底从生命中错过。

这是一段无足轻重的小事，人生四处充满了如此难言的片段。下课后我走同样的斜坡回
家，夜色又冷又沉压得雪成了冰，举步艰难。我行经稀疏的松树林，莫名其妙心生恐
惧，我害怕人生如同暗夜行路，初始循着光亮往上前行，记取一些无法言喻的玄妙经
验，然后再往下徐行，这光怪陆离的一切旋即抛在脑后，无法重来。

结果，因为当时的恐惧太过清晰，我将一切记得清清楚楚，几年之后那个黄昏成了我研
究所生活最明确的隐喻。说穿了，就是学习行路以及独处。

二十几岁时人生的课题相当复杂，既要迅速累积也要适时放手。出国念博士像一场赌
局，必须把在台湾的一切放下，拿自己坚持的理想和孤注一掷的青春跟人生对赌，要是
成了，也许有个未来；要是失败了，到了三十岁仍一无所有。那几年里我不置可否地谈
了几次不算深刻的恋爱，如今想起来，那些感情掺杂于垂云四布的学业主题之中显得微
不足道、黯淡而且左支右绌，对于爱情以及它的能量和蕴藏我无心也无力深究，因为手
中的筹码有限，而时间如沙子一般从指缝中溜走，从早到晚坐在桌边，书怎么念都念不
完，我真怕空手而回。

研究生的日子一不小心就会过分简单，起床，早餐，读书，午餐，读书，晚餐，洗澡，
读书，写论文，焦虑，睡觉，焦虑。间或穿插图书馆，超市，咖啡屋。除了上课之外，
一个研究生完全不需要开口说话，没有课的时候，没有事就没有话。日子简单得像一条
倾斜的线，往内心软弱的方向滑去。

出国念书的研究生岁月尤其孤独，周身的社会网络既不深刻也不固定，生活和心灵的锚
完全系乎学业，别无所求。由于这种成败未卜的生活使人极度专心、焦虑和敏感，不论
原来的个性如何，研究生很容易变得喜怒无常或者长期抑郁。长久以往，生命里其他的
人便逐渐遭到驱逐，因为在一个满脑子只有抽像事物的人眼中看来，身边实质存在的个
体都太过密实而无法超越，难以理解，毕竟，有页码的书比不透明的人容易多了，念书
尚且来不及，哪儿有时间处理人呢。

那是一段奇异的岁月，独处是理所当然，恐惧又如影随形，人生之中重大的烦忧都是抽
像的思考和缥缈的未来，如此活在浩邈学海里，只有一言难尽的忧郁，一切固实的事物
都化于空中，虽然日子依旧持续春去秋来，可是因为从来没有明确的起点和结束，记忆
中开始独处的那一天已经过去许久，未来总是尚未发生，人则是活在一点一点的片刻
里，与过往熟悉的秩序脱节。人像是偏离轨道的小星体，不知不觉就独自走上了一条偏
僻的路径，两旁的风景越来越陌生，诸事俱寂。这样走上一阵子，就再也没办法回头进
入原有的秩序，再也不能习惯喧闹和群体。

最后，一种奇特的孤独会环绕着你，你从未如此深切感到自我的存在，因为他人都不再
重要，你只剩下自己。

那个城里每年都会传说类似这样的事：冬天里，小城开始下雪后，每一栋建筑都开了暖
气。有个研究生许多天没去上课，老师以为她退选，同学以为她休学。一个月过去没有
人知道她的下落，也没有人在意。后来，某一栋学生公寓的学生抱怨，他们那层楼的温
度特别低，可是某一户的窗子没关严。彻查之后发现，这位不去上学的研究生在她房里
早就死了，因为窗子始终开着，气温非常低，她躺在床上一个月，结了霜，变成了浅蓝
色。

有过只身留学经验的人大概能约略明白，这个传说的恐怖之处不在于死亡的状态，而在
于这个传说之后隐含的既渺小又巨大的孤独。一个人脱离了所属的社会关系，在异乡又
生不了根，身边也容不下任何人，房门一关，整个世界排拒在外。

其实这样的孤单过几年也就习惯了，其中自有一种爱弥丽迪更森（ Emily Dickinson）
式的静美，习惯之后，骚动不安的灵魂能够从这种惟心的孤独中得到非比寻常的安歇。

然而一旦毕了业，学位拿到了，回到台湾，生命中多年悬挂的难关终于渡过，又立刻面
临另一场动荡。这个生命历程的转变本质相当特殊而且唐突，在社会位置而言，是从边
缘位置回到结构内部，从异文化的疏离回到熟悉的自文化，从无所是适进入生产行列，
从一无所有变成“知识精英”。换句话说，几乎是一夕之间从穷学生变成教授，昨天还
是个惴惴不安的研究生，今天突然成了高等教育的一份子。离开台湾时，还是个年轻的
孩子，七年之间丝毫不觉得自己曾经沧海桑田，直到回到台湾才发现，七年原来是这样
翻天覆地的长度，有这样一去不回的意义。

我仿佛是镜花缘里的人物，意外地游了龙宫，回到世上，打开宝盒，光阴的无限意涵在
那一刻全部显现，在瞬间如电光一闪，荏苒百年。于是，一个人突然从理所当然单身的
研究生转为莫名其妙单身的中产阶级。我还觉得单身生活真是再自然不过了，周边的眼
光却不这样看我，我才恍然明白，社会位置换了，期待当然也换了，我才刚刚完成一个
阶段任务，又得尽力符合社会的下一个要求。

刚开始教书的时候我才忽然体会原来这是一种含表演性质的职业，这个事实引起的莫大
焦虑和沮丧更甚于研究所生涯。一个早上的课足以将人气力耗尽，下午声音哑得一句话
也说不出来。我从一个冷凝的极端荡到另一个热烈的极端，两个极端之间的承续关系不
大，背反的关系多些。

这种转变从外在环境上而言不太明显。人一直留在校园里，改变的冲击不至于难以承
受。只是，留学的七八年里，我的人生经验是不断往内探求的过程，仿佛藉由知识将自
己压缩成一个密度极大但是体积极小的黑洞；教书却是反向进行，教学伦理要求人像太
阳一样发光放热，这个职业需要在短时间之内与大量的人互动，需要不停说话、沟通、
解释、不厌其烦的表演、宽容并且随时充满热诚，同时必须具有将抽像的事物转化为简
单语词的能力，种种的职业特性与研究生生涯恰恰相反，从前的生活可以任性地拒人于
千里之外，教书却是从对人的基本热爱与关切开始，必须做到“幼吾幼以及人之幼”。

回国教书之后的某一个春天，寒假刚过，校园里的杜鹃明媚灿烂。早上八点钟我在办公
室里收到一封分手的电子邮件，才想起我已经因为疲倦而和他渐行渐远。我想我应该痛
哭一场或者立刻回信说点什么，或者，我也可以打越洋电话过去自我辩护或大吵一架。
可是钟声响了，马上就得上课了，五十个学生正等着我告诉他们未来与希望。我感到胸
口梗着一块东西难以吞咽，呼吸急促，窗外阳光刺眼，它的温暖非常嘲讽，它若是更亮
一点我的眼泪就要掉了。

我去上了课，尽量做到妙语如珠，并且该讲的笑话都讲了，我想我看起来还是充满热诚
以及宽容。几小时慢慢儿撑过去，我感到心子里有个密实的东西隐隐发热，也许是过去
的自己正缓慢疼痛，一切都难以挽回，而且该做的事这样多，明明是黑洞却要装成太
阳，我没有多余的气力再去关心另一个人。终于下课的时候，头疼欲裂，我在盥洗室的
镜子里看见自己的脸，左颊一道粉笔灰像不在场的眼泪。我没在讲台上垮掉，我也没有
回信或打电话，因为我累坏了，而且嗓子也哑了。

那天中午我在春阳曝晒中回家，鸟语花香，我极度疲累简直要融化在路边。有那么一
刻，我宁愿回到雪地的黄昏里行路。

常常有人问我为什么选择单身，我想，如果情势使得每段感情都分手了结，一个人自然
就单身了，非常简单。

我有个姓戴的同事，没事老更新space，很闲的样子，真想从她那借点时间。
今天看到一个姓贺的女生space上一个似乎是男生的留言，写道：···你这个又瘦胸又大的女人···。为之一叹，这是我08年见过最精彩的句子之一。以此为记。